Saturday, 26 October 2013

Devising 4


Whilst I was listening to my iPod, the song Asleep by The Smiths came on and as I was listening to it, I suddenly got this feeling of weariness. It made me think of my character, Xanthe, and how she feels like she craves intimacy but is terrified of getting hurt and giving herself up to someone. I imagined her just wanting to be held and sung to, and to sleep deeply and never wake up and feel scared. Sort of like as she fell asleep she wanted to keep that feeling of being loved and held so she didn't want to ever be woken up and have to face her fears.

This was a real revelation for me - since I don't have the sorts of fears that Xanthe does, I've never feared commitment or being loved by someone the way she does - and I think I'd like to explore this sense of weariness and desire to just be at peace. 


Lyrics:

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Sing to me
Sing to me
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore

Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go

There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well...

Bye bye
Bye bye
Bye...

Devising 3

Aislinn

Aislinn is my chosen person who I will be developing. I've known Aislinn ever since we were young which is probably why I have stuck with her so long. Aislinn's sense of humour is quite dark, she will always be the first to have a witty, sarcastic quip in a conversation, which can be funny unless you're on the receiving end of it. I think this is a defense mechanism, she doesn't like people getting too close to her. She likes to have a tiny, select group of people who she trusts implicitly, and often if she lets you get to know her then you will be surprised by how caring and devoted she is. She likes to surprise people, she definitely does have a mysterious, exotic quality about her. 

Maybe it's her intellect - she's read more books than anyone you'll meet and her vocabulary rivals that of Shakespeare, coming in very handy for her quick jokes - or the fact that she doesn't let much on, you always wonder what she's hiding behind the emotional walls. She's serious and sarcastic. Her replies to any attempt at small talk will vary from a somehow emotive yet completely uninterested shrug to a remark which will send anyone looking for an argument running with their tails between their legs. However, once you get in behind those walls you'll find someone completely different.She will sit for hours laughing hysterically with her best friend about the silliest things if she thinks no one else is watching. She will lie for hours comforting her younger sister if she's upset.

Aislinn sleeps around. There's no real way to sugar coat it. I think it's because she craves love and intimacy, she wants to be taken care of and adored. However the disintegration of her parent's marriage and some unknown event in her life have taught her the ways of the world. According to Aislinn, she can only trust herself not to let her down. With everyone else she doesn't know, they may start out with the best intentions but eventually they will screw her over. Boy adore her, her lack of attainability makes her exotic in their eyes, I imagine, however she brushes off any hint of romance as them being merely infatuated. She maintains that they will soon lose interest and leave her, however I think that this is actually her own fears of being hurt.

Aislinn is empowered though. She is a feminist and fiercely so, she will jump at the chance to get into a debate on the matter and gets irritated by girls who allow boys to walk all over them or spend their lives trying to impress boys. She is sexy in her own way, in her assured knowledge of her own sexiness I imagine, but she'd never let herself be sexy in the sense of showing a boy her sexiness. 

In large groups she often feels uncomfortable and unwanted, assuming that the majority of the people there have a problem with her - often that is correct -  however if this makes her feel down then she doesn't show it. She'll often go and sit in the corner, either reading a book or taking charge of the music playing. She will not put herself out there, people will go to her, however she doesn't think herself above anyone in the room. She considers herself, and in a sense she is, an outsider to teenage social groups. Not above or below anyone, simply detached. 

Devising 2


Reaction to the Four Sea Interludes

Dawn: 
  • nostalgia, peace
  • sense of power, arising
  • travel, possibility, anything can happen from here
  • danger somewhere
Sunday Morning:
  • excitement
  • tension
  • on the other hand, beauty and peace
  • rising excitement, something emerging?
  • cheerful, life goes on
Moonlight
  • tranquillity, sadness?
  • caution
  • something's hidden, inquisitive, beauty
  • something more soft about this one, others seemed a little more energetic
  • constellations, infinity, endlessness
Storm
  • danger, excitement
  • life, energy, explosive
  • sounds more like an emotional storm than a literal storm?
    • psychic, mind changes, tension, drama


Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Devising 1


Ro

When you think of the word "hippie", Ro is everything that you imagine. She is one of the most serene, tranquil people you will ever meet. She never allows anything to get under her skin and she has a great control over her temper. Everything she says sounds like it's been thought out and weighed in her mind before she says it, everything she says sounds like a quote from Gandhi or some great philosopher. She is wise beyond her years and she knows everything there is to know about the human body. Not in the sense that she has studied it and knows every bone and muscle, but if you tell her you've got a sore belly then she will instantly inform you on 20 different vegetables that you can eat to help you, often backed up with an anecdote on ancient Chinese medicine telling you about how yellow vegetables are beneficial to the liver. Somehow you trust her completely, you would tell her your deepest, darkest secrets and just know that she wouldn't judge you or tell anyone. However, you know absolutely nothing about her. Even after you've spent two weeks constantly in her company you will go away with an excellent understanding of the benefits of courgettes but know not a single thing about her.

Molly

Molly is one of the most interesting people you will ever meet. She is the kind of girl who is like no one else in the world. She takes pride in her uniqueness. She will not listen to a band unless no one else has heard of it, she will not read a book unless no one else has read it. Her bedroom bookcase will have never seen a Harry Potter book, instead it is crammed with obscure poetry anthologies and works of ancient philosophers. If, by chance, someone has read a book that she too has read then  it will often have been a reworked or rewritten version, and she will instantly begin a lecture on how much better the original was. Despite the fact that you might assume she's "stuck up" and too "hipster", you can't help but love her. Her wit and ability to talk the back legs off a donkey means that you will never be bored when you're with Molly. She is also an incredible dancer. She is hugely driven, dedicating her life to dancing, and for this reason she has never had a boyfriend.

Aislinn (pronounced ay-sh-linn)

When you first meet Aislinn, you will be unsure of whether or not you like her. When you've known her for a few weeks, you will be sure that you don't. Her sarcastic sense of humour can be stinging if you're caught on the wrong end of it, and she will rarely have time to stop and listen to your problems. She craves intimacy and love, however she has a solid 6 foot wall up against any who try to love her. This leads to her sleeping around, spending only one night with a boy before running fast from fear of getting hurt. Men fall in love with her easily, often assuming they can "save" her and break down the walls, however she has a fierce contempt for these ideas, solidly and steadfastly maintaining that it's not her that's the problem, it's the fact that she "can't trust anyone but herself to hurt her". Due to the fact that she sleeps around, girls rarely like Aislinn. However, for the few who have known her long enough and who she truly lets in, she will care for unconditionally. You can count on one hand the number of people who she has allowed in, including her sister, but she will stand by those people until the end. If one of them goes into hospital, she will be stood by their bed within the hour, refusing to move until that person is all right.

Deia (pronounce day-ah)

Deia has been home educated all of her life. Due to this, she has not spent a lot of time around people her own age, more around adults, and this means that most of her friends now are bit older than her. Terrified of commitment she has never had a boyfriend, however she is one of the most loveable people you will ever meet and boys adore her. She is kind and friendly, always ready to make a friend, and even if you've only met her a few times she will greet you with a huge smile and a hug before taking your arm and dashing you off to do something exciting, talking at 100 miles per hour of the things that have happened to her, asking you how you've been and laughing constantly as if you've been friends for years. Deia is always accepting people into her friendship group. Deia has a distinct quality, like an animal that you could cuddle forever. Very much the baby of the group you don't want to be mean to her - although she herself will never get angry at you or even notice you've said anything wrong - since a horde of protective friends, almost like adoptive brothers and sisters, will descend on you and make you rue the day you even thought a single bad thing about her.